There are only a handful of things that I believe to be indisputable cold hard fact in this world anymore. Things like pies are always better when cooked by your grandmother, or never trust a dog with a cat, and without a doubt a cold beer tastes best on a boat in the heat of summer. None of these should be debated as they are fact. No less a fact as to say that Secretariat was the fastest horse to ever run the Kentucky Derby. (He was. Go ahead and check the record books if you must.)
But the one I find foremost today is the fact that a man cannot, no matter how hard he may try, ever have too many hats. It is impossible. I only have one head and that number will never change. Well, I suppose it could, but it may only be one or zero and in such case I would find myself amongst the worms if there were zero heads attached atop my neck.
Moreover, a man is only capable of wearing one hat at a time without the risk of looking senile, but very few men (if any) have only owned just one hat. Well, my one head could own 5,000 hats and it wouldn't be near enough. I believe a man ought to have a hat for every occasion he might possibly find himself amidst. A hat for work or play, for Monday or Saturday, for being happy or sad, and certainly one for rooting for a man's Alma Mater. Any man who plans to do anything beyond twiddling his thumbs just can't have too many hats I tell ya.
I ramble all this to have said: You are welcome for all the new hats we've released this week. You can't have too many - That's a fact!
